public domain/staying trueI was listening to the Doo Dirty Show today. Shout out to DJ www.ddirtyshow.podomatic.com over there in NY. I haven’t blogged in a while and his show today got me to break my silence…temporarily. It really got me to thinking.
One thing I can respect about this kat is that he gives it raw and unfiltered. After a very dramatic interview, he started talking about the downside of being in the public eye. I mean he really broke it down. Prior to today I never considered myself public domain. When I started this writing years ago it was just for enjoyment. My blog was an online diary. I never expected anyone to read it. When people started reading, leaving comments, and connecting me to my books I couldn’t believe that my ordinary life could have an impact on anyone else. But I’ve realized is that its just that…my ordinary world isn’t always ordinary. The things I go through and how I deal with them is what impacts others.
So, my blogs became more personal and I teetered on the fence of telling all my business and not telling anything at all. I felt I was doing the readers an injustice by not sharing things from my personal life but was scared to put it all out there. I’ve always been a very private person but blogging seemed harmless because I was posting things to an online world of people I didn’t know and would never see. WRONG. I also realized is that our community is so small. To hell with 6 degrees of separation in this small world it’s more like one or two.
What started as innocent expression turned into recognition. However with recognition comes all the drama DJ talked about. People gossiping, lying, and trying to bring you down just because. It seemed like the more attention I got the more people started disliking me. The same ones that claimed I was so nice were some of the same ones spreading lies about me in secret. But as a man I ignored it and continued to go on with my life and not get caught up in chaos because that’s just not me. I’ve seen all types in the past few years from kind hearted artists who don’t mind lifting up others and sharing their expertise. Then I’ve seen the catty ass fake fabulous types who live for the spotlight and will do anything to get there. I’ve seen people changing like the weather.
But back to my point…is this what being public domain is? Do success and a little recognition rob you of the innocence of creativity? I started this thing with pure intentions and with that intent I’ll remain. And before I let the same thing happen to me that I’ve seen happen to quite a few of my brothers in the game I’ll bow out. Staying true to you is better than the hype. So to those who have asked why they haven’t seen me around as much online, why I am not in many of the well known circles, and why I’m not promoting or touring as much as other people…I’m staying true to myself.