Friday, October 29, 2010
Friday, October 01, 2010
IT GETS BETTER
A couple of days ago I found out about the “It Gets Better” project, inspired by Dan Savage to inspire gay youth/young adults and let them know that life… really does get better. Recently we’ve seen several accounts of the “downside of gay” from the Bishop Eddie Long fiasco, to the college suicides which happened earlier this week.
Growing up gay, bisexual, lesbian, or any other way that seems to deviate from what society views as normal is difficult. We all have a story and sadly those stories have more disturbing similarities than not. It’s rare to hear a “coming out” story where the person is embraced 100% with open arms, life instantly becomes peachy and happily ever after begins—life usually doesn’t work this way. I know my story and it was no fairytale.
A large part of why I wrote my first book was to help teens/young adults by showing them another way. I wanted to show them that there are many facets to life and it really is ok to simply be you.
When I was coming up it was a very odd time to be LGBT. There were NO positive images of black gay males that I could remember seeing. There was this secret society that went by the code of “don’t ask don’t tell” waaaaaaaaaaaaaay before t military adopted it. Because I had no one to look up to or “show me the ropes” I made plenty of mistakes finding my way. I wanted to help young people keep from making the same mistakes I did.
Getting back to “It Gets Better”…As I went through to watch the videos, what I noticed was there were only a few black faces scattered in between the many submissions. Is this because we are still not asking and not telling? Cleary not! If you look at our youth you can see they are practically begging for answers. So should we change the old tried and true “don’t ask, don’t tell” philosophy to “ask away, we just won’t say shit”? We’ve gotta help this next generation. Hell we have to do more to help ourselves. In helping them, we help us.
I’m getting ready to make my video. I’d like to see some more shades of black among the submissions. Trust me, it will go a long way.
To find out more you can google the Dan Savage It Gets Better Project
Or search “It Gets Better” on YouTube
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Can You Hear Me Now?Long time no see…They say what a difference a day makes…Imagine a year and two months. My last post was July 24, 2009 as a farewell to E.Lynn. It felt like more like a farewell to Dayne Avery. I’d lost my voice and felt I had nothing left to say. Tongue-tied and transfixed between what started as an online diary, to up close and personal. It started to become a little overwhelming. In my private life I am just that—private, very private. So, while it felt good to release any and everything on my mind the drawback was the fact that it could be read by anyone. Add that to the fact that I had someone in my personal life using my blog to “get to me” and…and…and…THEN THERE WAS SILENCE.
Well I finally feel like I have something to say. Holding it in isn’t good for me so I’ll try this thing once more. I’m not even sure if anyone is still out there listening. But I’ll do it for me and hope like the last time someone else get something from what I have to say.
Friday, July 24, 2009
E. Lynn HarrisThose that know me know one of my biggest influences was E. Lynn Harris. I've heard that he has died. Not sure if it's true yet but just thought I would share.
UPDATE: Arkansas Sports 360 reports that Harris has died at age 54 during a West Coast book tour. The item does not cite a source, but Harris was close to the UA Athletic Department and had worked as coach and sponsor of the cheerleaders.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
This is a formal retraction of the last post…lol. Sometimes I get pissed off dealing with bullshit that sometimes comes along with the territory. But after some retrospection I sulked for 5 minutes then found a new perspective. Thanks for the feedback even after I’ve been MIA for a few weeks. Long story short… you just gotta work it (whatever it is) and let the haters do what they do. After all they have a job to do to (hate). And if I/you let it keep you down, they win.
Cant wait for the new Mary album. So far she is killing it.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
public domain/staying trueI was listening to the Doo Dirty Show today. Shout out to DJ www.ddirtyshow.podomatic.com over there in NY. I haven’t blogged in a while and his show today got me to break my silence…temporarily. It really got me to thinking.
One thing I can respect about this kat is that he gives it raw and unfiltered. After a very dramatic interview, he started talking about the downside of being in the public eye. I mean he really broke it down. Prior to today I never considered myself public domain. When I started this writing years ago it was just for enjoyment. My blog was an online diary. I never expected anyone to read it. When people started reading, leaving comments, and connecting me to my books I couldn’t believe that my ordinary life could have an impact on anyone else. But I’ve realized is that its just that…my ordinary world isn’t always ordinary. The things I go through and how I deal with them is what impacts others.
So, my blogs became more personal and I teetered on the fence of telling all my business and not telling anything at all. I felt I was doing the readers an injustice by not sharing things from my personal life but was scared to put it all out there. I’ve always been a very private person but blogging seemed harmless because I was posting things to an online world of people I didn’t know and would never see. WRONG. I also realized is that our community is so small. To hell with 6 degrees of separation in this small world it’s more like one or two.
What started as innocent expression turned into recognition. However with recognition comes all the drama DJ talked about. People gossiping, lying, and trying to bring you down just because. It seemed like the more attention I got the more people started disliking me. The same ones that claimed I was so nice were some of the same ones spreading lies about me in secret. But as a man I ignored it and continued to go on with my life and not get caught up in chaos because that’s just not me. I’ve seen all types in the past few years from kind hearted artists who don’t mind lifting up others and sharing their expertise. Then I’ve seen the catty ass fake fabulous types who live for the spotlight and will do anything to get there. I’ve seen people changing like the weather.
But back to my point…is this what being public domain is? Do success and a little recognition rob you of the innocence of creativity? I started this thing with pure intentions and with that intent I’ll remain. And before I let the same thing happen to me that I’ve seen happen to quite a few of my brothers in the game I’ll bow out. Staying true to you is better than the hype. So to those who have asked why they haven’t seen me around as much online, why I am not in many of the well known circles, and why I’m not promoting or touring as much as other people…I’m staying true to myself.